Do you often feel awkward and self-conscious when you are around other people? I’ve been a very shy person too, but I’m now socially comfortable and confident, and in this article you’ll see how I did it.
People who are shy often see their own actions in a more negative light, and they often think that they did something “wrong” or inadequate. They also tend to think that everyone else is better (better could either mean: smarter, funnier, faster, more attractive, and so on…) Some people actually have a good sense of confidence, but when they are around others they start to be nervous and socially anxious.
Shy people are also often lost for words – they’re not sure what “the right thing to say” is. Sometimes they can think of a thousand things to say and don’t know how to decide which one is the right one, sometimes their mind just goes blank…
Another thing is that they often feel awkward and insecure about their body language – and they are scared that any gesture they make could give something about themselves away or make them look silly or stupid.
Shyness is just a form of fear – and as such, your job is to conquer it. Otherwise you will be “punished” – punished by not having the kind of social life you could have, “punished” by not having the friends and good people in your life that you could have.
Ultimately, the people you share your life with are more important than anything else when it comes to quality of life. If you have a good circle of friends and aquaintances, you can live a happy life without even when you don’t have a lot of money, even when your health isn’t the best, even when you’re stuck in a job that’s not fulfilling.
A really simple thing that you can do to stop being shy is to go out to a cafe and call the waiter or waitress over repeatedly. What shy people do most of the time is wait for the waiter to look their way and then raise their hand and call them over. But you can just as well call the waiter when they are not looking in your direction.
This often feels a little bit awkward for shy people, and they tend to tense up because there are others around who will then also direct their attention to them for a short moment. But just practicing to get over that little bit of social discomfort can already be a good way to reduce shyness.
And when you are in a social situation, make sure to breathe properly. This might sound like the kind of advice a simpleton would give – but it is really powerful, despite its simplicity.
Also, instead of being overly self-aware in a social situation, try to direct your attention to the other people. Your mind can only handle so much input, and if you’re really focused on the other person, there is no way that youc an keep being focused on yourself.